Sometimes when I do everything on my own, it feels like nobody is required in this life's journey and that I can do it all on my own. We can actually do life on our own; there will be situations where you need a second person for help when you are ill or broke in some way. But the truth is, even without them, you can still survive.
The four years I studied in college, I had all my relatives close by, even though my parents were staying in a different state. My parents couldn't visit me frequently because they had jobs and two other kids. My relatives never really bothered to invite me to some of their functions (which I am actually thankful for because I absolutely hate functions. In "functions," the only "fun" is in the spelling; in reality, it's not there. People come for gossiping and parading their own achievements. And I'm interested in neither, not even dressing up for others' album photos or eating their food. For me, my home food is heaven).
So, my so-called relatives have not reached out much to me, maybe fearing I might ask for some help. But the truth is, I never ask for anybody's help because I don't want to be a burden on anyone. When I had my medical conditions with PCOS and when my leg's ligament broke, I mostly took care of it on my own. There were not many people around when my ligament broke. I still remember the kindness-filled faces of my grandparents back then, trying to help me even when they didn't have the strength considering their age. But the walk from where the auto dropped me to my grandparents' house with a cast on my left leg—I was alone. I jumped like I was playing hopscotch, but it was so difficult. I stopped midway and cried a little, tears streaming down my cheeks, and I just asked randomly in my mind, "Why are you testing me so much, God?" But then, in front of my grandparents, I smiled and said I was fine and hopped with one leg till home.
The two weeks which followed after the ligament break, I didn't even look in a mirror. I used a bucket to pee and slipped in the toilet multiple times when I was going to use the facilities. My grandmother would come with a bucket to wipe my body since I couldn't take a bath. During that time, some relatives came with some food items, and some came empty-handed, sat down quickly, and left in a hurry, never visiting again or calling to ask how I was doing. People forgot to call me for family functions, like I said earlier—those were the lessons of independence. I was learning to find my way on my own, learning to coexist without troubling another person. I was learning to comfort myself and push myself to do better on my own. During those days, I protected myself from eve-teasers, bad people, gossipers, and a lot of other troublesome crowds and situations.
Later, when I got my job, I learned how much financial independence had changed me and given me wings. Sure, we don't know how long we will be working; anybody can lose their job at any time. But when I was working, paying for my medicines, my college fees for my MBA, and also helping my family, I learned that our circle is really small. Those who have thousands of friends on social media and are super extroverts are often so fake. They have a different character outside of their social circle. Being real is so much better.
Sometimes now, when I leave the office late and it's dark, and I don't even get an auto to drop me home, I walk back home and feel the loneliness. I wipe off a drop of tears before it starts rolling down my cheeks, considering it a blessing to be on my own. The best time in life is the time when you are not bound by people and brainwashed by their ways and ideologies. It's always better to be on your own; it's a blessing in disguise. It prepares you to be self-sufficient. Even if you have a partner or husband in the future, know that your decisions, your life, your journey, are your own, and nobody will hold your hand and gently lead you till the end. Be prepared.
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