Looking back, I wish I didn’t beat myself over! —SelfEmpathy

SelfEmpathy is a virtue because it upholds kindness, understanding and compassion to oneself. From some interviews I have heard quiet a list of public figures say that “Looking back I wish I didnt beat myself over!”, at each phase of our life, even if we were absolutely fine and where we had to be which is the present moment, we still as humans doubt if we are enough or if we had done enough. We doubt alot of things our capability, our actions, thoughts, and directly or indirectly ourselves. But is/ was that hardship required, to put you through such a draining process of criticism? You are what you are, you are put into this world to learn and make use of it. So be a learner. When a phase ends and another begins, you have learned something and you are on a path to learn a little more. You should humble yourself and accept that you are a learner but also give yourself credit for absorbing this knowledge and experiences to put it to better use. Compare the time when you were 5 and 10, now again compare the time when you were 10 and 15, from 15 to 20 and 20 to 25 and so on. Now, directly compare the time you were 5 or 10 to your present age, and see your journey if you were a mathematical person you would see graphs of your growth in mind. You have always grown, no need to compare yourself with your peers or seperate yourself from your peers. Because growth is inevitable. You learned a little more when you reached 10 years from the time you were 5 years old. A lot more learning had happened when you were/ are 20 compared to the time when you were 12 years and so it goes. Thats why people say my competition is not with others but with myself; to be a better version of myself. You cannot achieve anything or stay happy if you constantly put yourself down. Self empathy is a route and routine to happiness and growth. You need to understand your capability and your limitations. You need to know that whatever you are not good at right now , is a blessing so you can put in a lot more effort and get hold of it slowly. Havent you heard “Slow and steady wins the race”. Parents , teachers or people around us asks us / teach us to be competitive but they often ask you to compete with others not with the previous version of yourself that is the problem. You are your biggest competition / challenge, to bring yourself up, to work on yourself, to take yourself as a project requires more strength because its a project for the lifetime and people often want faster results. What we lack here most of the time or what we should use to achieve a sense of calmness to realise that you are at the right place and at the right time is Empathy, self Empathy. Self Empathy is a virtue that needs to be instilled into us, so that we understand ourselves, and not feel inferior to anybody. We dont have to beat ourselves up because we are on a journey to better ourselves up. Its our journey, and we are at our maximum capacity at every age, we are open to learn, we need to manifest that thought. If you wouldnt have fallen from trying to walk at a tender age, or if you wouldnt have fallen from the cycle during your initial practices at the age of 8 or 10, if you hadnt burned your hands in the process of learning to light a lamp, if you hadnt messed up your eyes trying to wear kajal on the initial days of practice, if you hadnt failed in a class test, if you hadnt known heartbreaks in relationships, if you hadnt known how rejections felt like in career or otherwise, how you could have measured your success or happiness with? We encounter failures or rejections or impossibles before our milestones so that we may know that we have achieved something later when we achieve it. It makes us practise and give our best shot. We are forever learners and without selfempathy even if you sympathise with others it would still remain artificial. For anything you do to serve a purpose you need to first do it to yourself —  love yourself first, take care of yourself first, understand yourself first, show empathy, encouragement and support to yourself first. Open the door to accomodating a lot of people, by opening the doors of your heart and mind to yourself. You first, then the rest will fall in its right place. Selfempathy is not optional. Give yourself enough credit because you deserve it. Feel proud of yourself, you are at your own pace and your goal is to make the next version of yourself better than the previous one!