Regrets

I watched the 1999 film "Never been kissed" and these thoughts came to me about my career choices, and along came regrets.For the first time in my life I am saying this, that i regret,

I regret some of my choices.

I should have taken English literature, and majored in that instead of computerscience...yeah .

And then pursued psychology,

And then I should have worked with a good newspaper analysing criminals and their mind.

And made magnificient articles,

Instead of sitting in my desk and getting left and right feedbacks which I dont even ask.

I can never go back and redo it,

But get this regrets are realisations,

And so its very important you understand yourself.

Hence, regrets are not bad.

Once a man had asked me "you have regrests?"

And I simply said No, why should I? I am proud of my choices. I took it, and I am fully responsible for it. Whatever happened was great, even with its fair share of sorrows and hardships."

Then he said "Sorry, I dont believe in "not having regrets", you gotta have some regrets."

And I wondered why.

He said "we are different people".

Many men have said that to me "we are different".

Well yes , they were also attracted to me and wanted to know me, so in a way I feel good. The girl people wanted to pursue sounds good right.

But then years later, here creeps in those regrets.

Back in the day, all I was focused on was earning alot of money,

And I heard IT was good.

And I liked playing games and watching movies in the laptop. I liked making presentations and write long stories in word. Somehow I thought that qualified me to have a specialisation in computerscience.

Then again, I was glad when I got my first laptop. I used to watch 3 movies a day sometimes. I wrote my first book in college, it was saved and kept until later I published it.

I even wrote lots of programs,

The thrill was in writing programs before all the others. When the best kids used to refer my lab record I felt great. I felt like I am good at so many things. I felt so proud when I first wrote the program for interprocess communication- two way communication pipe program. I was the first one to finish that. I had this feeling that I am gonna be great. But after third year, I realised maybe I didnt want to labour away in coorporate , becoming an assistant professor , then an HOD, then finally into a principal would be great. But on the sidelines I always wanted to pursue one degree after the other , have lots of graduation certificate. When I said this my dad laughed saying he had an aunt like me who had a couple of degrees because she had the craze for it. But, guess what I loved studying, keep on studying, new things, new colleges, people, lots of stories, forever in college, many certificates that showed my capabilities in various things. My dad said get a job, like everyone else. Encash your potential, make a good life. I realised I loved writing, and for all the creative writing job interviews I went for I would get selected. I had potential, I was appreciated. But then later now, after all these years I regret not taking english and psychology, I feared that people would have thought back then I am not good at science thats why I took language, I didnt want to learn anything easy as people would have called it. I wanted to prove that I could learn the tough things, thats one more reason I went for science.Later I became a business analyst, pursuing project management but I never stopped writing as you can see. Its my passion.I am writing this to tell you, as an affirmation “Regrets are good” but so are “choosing what you love” the simple seed of intution you feel, go for it. Turn your head towards your calling , dont walk away. Because if you do, you will miss the greatest opportunities of your life.