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The Confidence Journey --008 : Working on your Confidence

"Why should I care what other people think of me? I am who I am. And who I wanna be." --- Avril Lavigne

This quote is very striking isn't it? Well, thinking about what others will think about us , is one way that can affect our confidence. We will always be observing our surroundings for criticisms and try to remain conscious rather than enjoying our life as it is. People who are discouraged quite easily by others' comments, often end up lacking confidence, the right confidence . They will not be perceived as bold and capable to handle any managerial tasks whether it's organising a party for your loved ones or managing a team at work.

 Now this is a loss, both for the person suffering with a lack of confidence and the person refusing a job to this person. Because  even though introvert or constantly doubting oneself, people might be skilled to do a certain task but when they are not given an opportunity because of one thing, then they are at a loss and the employer is also at a loss because they haven't really evaluated the skill of this employee and rejected them because of one skill, which is very important by the way. To do any job, confidence is of importance and we cannot give a backseat to it, but we can always keep an open-mind that confidence is acquired overtime and a chance should be given to every person to become confident. We have to always work on our confidence and the first step to that is to try and avoid what others might think or speak about you. 

"The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this , he's dead." --- Bette Davis

We are all "comfort zone" persons, we will want to stay a little bit longer in the places we are comfortable at but not necessarily challenging because of that we are not putting ourselves out there in the professional world or to peers as a strong candidate. Why should anybody choose you? Because you are something, you are capable of doing something which another person might not be able to do in the way you might do it. Hence, it is very important to always give yourself challenges so that you might be able to gain more confidence, to feel/ seen as a more valued member in the society or among your peers or in a working environment.

"Fear? What has a man to do with fear? Chance rules our lives, and the future is all unknown. Best live as we may from day to day." --- Sophocles

Fear is one major problem ( this is again the same thing we crossed in the initial paragraph), fear of speech, fear of facing people, fear of putting yourself out there, fear to flaunt your skills or emotions, and why do we fear so much? Because our biggest fear is the fear of being judged and the fear of not getting accepted by the people we want to be in a good relation  / friends with. Sometimes we want to impress our boss but he/she might feel outsmarted by us. Sometimes people can simply mistake us and our intentions. Here, we have to remember to be gentle with ourselves and others ( yes, it is hard), but we are all human beings, and we are all unique. No two people are alike, so there is no question of finding someone identical to you intellectually or emotionally ,100 percent.

"Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself." --- Roy T Bennett

You are capable. You have skills. All you gotta do is believe in yourself and work on your skills. When you know what you bring to the table and also where to work on , you will find that the roadblocks are slowly taken out of the picture. It is ok to feel confused or unsure at times, you are allowed to feel insecure, like every other feeling , this is one of the feelings that needs to be acknowledged. You can only have control over your thoughts and emotions, when you acknowledge the fact that this is what it is that was bugging you all this while, it's a realisation.  And when you feel really low and alone, keep chanting to yourself " I am capable" over and over again until you feel fine.

"When someone tells me "no", it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them." --- Karen E Quinones Miller

Not everyone is made for you and vice versa. We might have rejected some people personally or professionally or both and we might have also been rejected by some people. That is totally ok, it's natural. Know that, a few people are not the "end of the world" for you. There will be somebody who will see the potential in you and choose you. You have been chosen for a lot of things until now, which you might not remember because you are sitting down with a lot of negative emotions now, but yes you have been chosen many times up until now in your life. Just remember how many times your parents gave you priority when you needed them, just because you meant alot to them. Just think about the time when someone confided in you and revealed a secret or their insecurities to you, it was because you were valuable to them and they believed that you would be the right person for it. Similarly accepting you and rejecting you is a person to person choice, and you too do have this choice. Think about all the people who you might have rejected, won't they be happy now? Yes, they would. Because just because you rejected them, doesn't mean their life ended. 

"The moment you become friends with your inner self, you realise that the failures or hindrances that you met earlier were caused more by your disconnect status with your inner being."

---Stephen Richards

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