Culture has a direct impact on confidence, and I have observed quite some people around me for that matter. I have seen that most the north Indians are much more outspoken which portray alot of confidence even when they might not be so good in english language or might not hold as much education while south Indians even though brilliant are not always so outgoing, ( I am south Indian, so I can talk for myself). South Indian's are more. Now this can irritate alot of people and that is the reason I have mention "most of the people I have seen". It is a blessing and moreover a great opportunity to get to know alot of people from different socio-cultural backgrounds. Foreigners like the English (sometimes and some of them , let me be very clear), seem to see India as a country of forests or of uncivilised people in poverty. I have seen a lot of non-Indians ( foreigners) who have come to India posting vlogs about how in awe they are of India, how much they like the culture, food and people. There are also some vloggers who say things like "Oh, look at that and this" as in amusement about us being civilised. Now when we look at people across the culture, we know one thing that like how no two humans are alike so are people's views. If one person or maybe 10 people or maybe more from one state or country has little knowledge about you or behaves rudely with you or annoys you or degrades you or be it anything, just remember not all people from the same culture behave the same. But once the damage is done, we cannot take it back.
When a person's confidence is affected by the kind of comments they receive in personal or professional life, you can equalise it to a big long ugly scar mark on a visible and beautiful part of the body, see even if the scar vanishes and you see perfect skin in place of imperfections, it would still feel so ugly, and that is a feeling. A feeling of being ugly no matter how hard you try.Now let us look into our own culture and how it affects us. Being an Indian woman confidence sabotage is not a new term or situation for me,, right from birth to death there are various discriminations addressed towards us or our family like either parents or relatives or a distant nobody wanting/ routing to have a boy instead of girl while you are still a baby in the womb or an idea in your parents head, the choice of a fair skin or clear complexion in place of a duskier skin tone or pimples and acnes, the love for tall men and petite woman, the need of the society to see woman in long hairs and men in short hairs, it's also quiet unacceptable about men wearing makeup but woman are encouraged to, giving more preference to men's education than women's, encouraging men to work more than women. Picturising women as the ideal cook or parent or nurturer in any form. A right to choose what suits us is in our hands and today's crowd knows that well. Yet, the wounds of bitter experiences still tampers with our confidence. We doubt our quality in many things we do because of people. I can vouch for it because, it is due to my own closely related people that I feared being on the chubbier side, because each time I dress up, it still makes me feel like I'm not enough and how ever I try those ugly remarks keeps flooding my mind. And trust me when I say this, no amount of positivity, affirmations and therapy can completely wipe off those shitty feelings. But, everyday is a new opportunity to be happy, to do right for yourself and others, to make yourself feel better and healthier. Everyday is a chance for yourself to change to be the person that backs you. Confidence is built from experiences both bitter and sweet, it's a test to your strength. You have to show that you are made of a tougher material and No, you cannot be cracked easily unless it is for the light to enter. It is not easy, but it is not tough either. Confidence is a journey because it takes courage to move forward, and improve yourself . Be that person, who has still to give oneself and others around, than being the exhausted , depleted resource. The first step to that is in acknowledging that you are the one who decides everything about you, nobody gets the credit. And it is up to you, to pilot your journey.
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